As children, there really is no choice for us to filter out the things we are learning. We observe and copy, or at least we attempt to copy what we see. It’s the same for many of our behaviours, languages and sets of moral beliefs too. We grow up normalising all of this and it becomes second nature to us and something we rarely, if ever, question.
When we do reach adulthood, we have acquired so many ‘normals’, that tracking where the ‘normal’ originated from becomes impossible and, in many cases, it doesn’t even matter. I know that we can talk about the impact of our own free will and the variables which make us individuated and responsible for our own cognition and sometimes identifying what was influenced and what was chosen can be of value to us.
Coaching my clients, we often uncover many interesting held beliefs such as ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘Its a wild world out there’. When we do a bit of digging with the client, it often comes to pass that they can pinpoint an influence in the past or some memory of them inheriting such beliefs. Usually, when they identify this, they almost always automatically question why they believe this and are motivated and curious to learn more about what effect it has had on them.
This is the motivational fuel required to change it and bring about new, success-sustaining beliefs. New beliefs that will drive better, chosen actions and therefore better life outcomes.
We have an estimated 40 to 60 thousand thoughts in a day, so getting a feel for which ones we should target as problematic can be a challenge. It is very easy for us to move forward and project a future based on our past patterns because the thoughts and beliefs which are hardwired into us, want us to afford as little effort as possible.